Pajama Day!

Ok...so it seems every day for me lately is pajama day. What can I say? I quit my job the last day of November (2010) to stay home. It was a really good job - hospital administrative assistant. I made my own hours, could leave when I needed, my boss is a wonderful, Christian woman who believes family comes first. So why did I leave? Well, ask my sweet husband and he'd probably tell you I'd lost my mind. He'd say(a little off the cuff) that God told me to go home & bake cookies. Well, that's my story and I'm sticking to it.
Actually, that's not too far off from the truth.

This last summer a couple friends and I started walking in the mornings together. We'd meet at my front yard (5:15am) and walk 3 miles through our town. (keep in mind we could cover just about all of our town, which is 10 blocks x 10 blocks..roughly). We (gals) would talk of our hopes, dreams, trials, troubles and most days try to end our time together with a short prayer. It was such an uplifting time.
One of these gals dreamed of a ministry for women in our community with dance. She is now running Zumba classes for believers & non-believers. We dance like crazy four nights a week to Latin (AND Christian) music. It's great!
Well, I talked about wanting to be a blessing to others - and I just didn't know how. I knew I was blessing some at work (Michael, hubby, was ALWAYS so encouraging to me about touching the lives of co-workers...and I think I made a little ripple in that pond.) But I was doing a little baking on the side & really liking it.
About the same time, my daughter - Brady started asking (almost daily) when was I going to stay home and just be her mom. (Talk about your heart melting...) I knew this was a cry (ok, maybe a whimper) for her to have me home. So I started praying fervently for God to show me a way to be home, be a blessing & there for my family.
It didn't happen overnight and there was no magical, fairy-god-mother that appeared to make all my dreams come true. But in my praying - I asked God to put it upon my husband's heart to start a dialogue of me quitting. He answered that prayer and communication began!

Long story short - I did quit and I have been baking ever since. (check out my 'other' blog - www.bradyshands.blogspot.com) I love to bake cookies, cupcakes...just about anything sweet. Can't cook worth a darn, so I'm not much help to my beautiful husband - who does cook MARVELOUSLY!!!! And it's not been a beautiful fairy tale that has a happy ending. No, its been work - hard work. There have been unhappy times because we're living with one paycheck (his) and its an area where satan can try to divide. BUT...I know God provides for ALL our needs - so to me it's just another way we can place our trust in Him.
I am loving the opportunity to be at home - make beds, do laundry, listen & sing to my Christian music...and bake. More importantly I'm loving the fact that I can be there to support my husband, tend to my daughter more and put my family first. I'm not perfect at anything - but I'm trying to be the best that I can & leaning on God's Love and wisdom to help (because He is).

PS. If you ever need something sweet, just let me know.
Now I think I'll go change into some clothes...

I DELIGHT MYSELF IN THE LORD AND HE GIVES ME THE DESIRES OF MY HEART. (Psalms 37:4)

keep the faith, sweet friend.
~ love, karen

I wonder...

The other day I had some time on my hands...waiting for my youngest child to come bouncing (from a day at school) out to our car waiting in line. (I was one of the lucky ones today ~ got there early enough to grab one of the last parking spaces next to the curb. That way I didn't have to continue circling the school..waiting on a new spot to appear, once another car pulled away).

Anyway - I was wondering about what people think when it comes to pastor's wives. Do the 'normal folks' out there suppose a pastor's wife is "untouchable" when it comes to suffering, heartache, temptation & the likes? Just because a pastor's wife is...married to a pastor - do you suppose people think she's in a 'safety bubble?'

I used to have that misconception. (and believe me...IT IS A MISCONCEPTION!) I'm beginning to understand that satan will stop at nothing to hurt anyone. (...the thief comes to steal, kill, destroy...John 10:10). And guess what...if he can't seem to shake a man of God to the core ~ he's going to go after what the pastor holds dear to his heart...his family.

Growing up - one of my sweetest, closest friends(BFF) lived a couple blocks away. Her daddy was our pastor and I was always so envious of them...their home, their family, their mom, their dad's position. I grew up (secretly) wanting to be a pastor's wife because I saw (on the outside) what looked like 'the perfect life.' And I thought it was all because of his job. What I came to learn MUCH later in life is...there isn't any such job, home or family this side of heaven that's not without troubles. (I was heartbroken to hear her family had broken apart shortly after graduation and later they divorced.)

Statistics are fun, aren't they? - on your left (the "married" column) and on the right (the "divorced" group). Did you ever stop and consider you are a statistic? If you're married - your life will become a statistic. Which side do you want to be on at the end of your life? Do you want to add to the numbers on the left or the right? That's what started my pondering today. Because whether married to someone in ministry or not, you've still got to fight like heck to make it work.
And you can bet your paycheck that satan is lurking in the shadows ready to pounce. He knows every weak spot, every vulnerable area of your life (perhaps even better than you)...and he's after you. He won't stop. He will continue to try to wear you down & make you weak enough to give up. Trust me on this one. I just came through a really tough fight and a little tattered from the battle. One important thing I totally forgot while knee-deep in the trenches...Greater is He that is in me than he that is in the world(1 John 4:4). Satan's going to throw his darts; but I can be smarter and deflect those darts if I remember to run to my God ~ Who can protect me and help me in times of danger. Now that's a promise I can take to the bank!

YOU HAVE DELIVERED ME FROM THE EVILS OF THIS WORLD, FOR IT IS YOUR WILL. (Gal 1:4)
keep the faith, sweet friend
~love, karen

Dumpin' My Bucket

My devotional yesterday was titled "Become God's Friend." At some levels that sounds pretty easy...and yet at others very difficult. I read on. It said that I have to choose to be honest with Him. OK, I think I can do that easily enough. God's friends in the Bible were honest with Him about their feelings - sometimes even complaining & arguing with Him - yet He didn't seem to mind. In fact, He encouraged it. (WAIT, WHAT???)
God listened patiently to David's accusations of unfairness, betrayal and abandonment just as Job was allowed to vent his bitterness - God actually defended him for being honest, while rebuking his friends for faking it. (Job 42:7).

To be God's friend is to share my TRUE feelings with Him, not what I think I 'ought' to say in prayer. (a little convicting for me here)
While I think sometimes I complain too much to God for me, myself & I...and don't pray nearly enough for others...it's refreshing to know that God doesn't look on me like the 'whiny little child' that's in a first grade classroom (and NEVER absent).

I really liked what my devotional said: Revealing my feelings and releasing my resentments to Him are the first steps in becoming spiritually whole. (Wow)
After all, He already knows my thoughts, my heart, my mind & my intentions before I do. I can certainly humble myself before His throne and 'dump my bucket'...isn't He big enough to carry it?

I long for a deeper intimacy with my God ~ so I've started (in a prayer journal) to reveal my innermost feelings, hurts & resentments to my Abba. I'm sure He'll know what to do with them and can help me. I know He uses everything for good in my life.

AND WE KNOW THAT GOD CAUSES ALL THINGS TO WORK TOGETHER FOR GOOD TO THOSE WHO LOVE GOD, TO THOSE WHO ARE CALLED ACCORDING TO HIS PURPOSES. (Romans 8:28)

keep the faith, sweet friend
~love, karen

Some nights are just like that...

I guess I'm finally awake. I really can't feel anything. Up AT LEAST four times in the night with a daughter's fever, clogged nose & nightmares. Funny thing...she's now in dad's recliner - watching television, playing a game on a computer with TV remote & hot tea by her side...totally content and seemingly rested. (Mom is the one that's a mess.) That's ok. In fact, I'm lovin' it. That's what motherhood is all about and I'm receiving the blessings of being able to be home with my beautiful daughter. (May I interject here a big THANK YOU to my wonderful hubby, Michael, who's hard at work making ends meet so that I can have this desire of my heart!!!)

Motherhood - the selfless act of loving a little resemblence of yourself (sometimes the good, the bad and yes...even the ugly). Signing up for sleepless nights, dusty shelves & dirty floors, worries when sickness comes, dishes always in the sink, clothing with stains (of milk, food, blood & vomit...to name a few), and TV dinners on the fly unless Papa Bear is cooking (THANKS honey/hubby - you're the BEST cook on the PLANET). I make the best fish stick TV dinner, by the way...just ask anyone in our church.

God programmed the female to have all the right wires to be the nurturing partner and perfect mother to offspring. Sometimes in the midst of the journey and the trenches of the daily grind...I forget that. I let it slip from my mind that God entrusted Justin, Jordan, Brady, Jennifer, Ian, Paige, Nico along with Jeffrey & Natolie into my care and holds me accountable for their well being while IN my care. (Ouch) I also know He is a Loving, Soverign God that knows my imperfections and will assist me in this monumental task if I'll just humble myself and ask Him. (That can be the easy part if I'll just remember to.)
He has answers to ALL of life's questions - all I need to do is spend T-I-M-E with Him and listen. So I offer a prayer up for myself (aka: Mom) and any others out there that are in need today...
Father, Thank You for Who You are (the Great I AM). Thank You that You have ALL the answers and all that is needed of me is to come to You, sit with You, sing my Praises to You, and ask for help. Forgive me when I forget. Please help me today because I am tired and may lash out at those I hold dearest to my heart.
I love You. -Amen-

YET THOSE WHO WAIT FOR THE LORD WILL GAIN NEW STRENGTH; THEY WILL MOUNT UP WITH WINGS LIKE EAGLES, THEY WILL RUN AND NOT GET TIRED, THEY WILL WALK AND NOT BECOME WEARY. (Isaiah 40:31)

keep the faith, sweet friend
~love, karen

A New Year Resolution...in February!

Today was a good day.
I know life is full of good days...and bad. It's learning to accentuate the positives...be optimistic...look on the bright side. It's having an attitude of gratitude. That's what I'm going to do this year...I guess you might say it's my first New Year's resolution. (Funny - it's only taken me a month to come up with one!)

I ran across something in a devotional recently that I think bears repeating. The Bible says: "Let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think." (Change always begins in your mind! The way you think determines the way you feel, and the way you feel determines the way you act. You ask..."How can I change the way I think?" By programming your mind each day with God's Word.)
DO NOT BE CONFORMED TO THIS WORLD, BUT BE TRANSFORMED BY THE RENEWING OF YOUR MIND, SO THAT YOU MAY PROVE WHAT THE WILL OF GOD IS, THAT WHICH IS GOOD & ACCEPTABLE AND PERFECT. (Romans 12:2)

I know it will take some willpower to start each day with this (new) attitude of gratitude. But with God's help...I'll get there!

BECAUSE YOUR LOVINGKINDNESS IS BETTER THAN LIFE, MY LIPS WILL PRAISE YOU.
(Psalms 63:3)

keep the faith, sweet friend
~love, karen

A New Creation

Time flies when... You can spend a lifetime & a million verbs to finish that line. Well, I will try to finish my reasoning as to why I've been away almost a month. January has proven to be busy in some ways and S-L-O-W in others.

I met with my counselor today...and I must say it was truly a time spent in the midst of my Saviour. It was such an outpouring of love & tears & pain & forgiveness. (I was poured out & filled up by the time it was over 1 1/2 hours later.)

I remembered things from my childhood that were both tragic & sad; yet God removed the pain and grafted in His unconditional love. He was there...the WHOLE time...when I was little. I love my parents. They're human...and in their human-ness they were broken & battered. They made mistakes in parenting my sister and me...just like ALL THE REST OF US...INCLUDING ME...so you won't see me pointing a finger in judgement toward them. I have forgiven them & love them just as Christ has forgiven me & loves me ~ unconditionally.

God (and my counselor) have shown me that I've walked the valleys so that I can be prepared for 'such a time as this' and be able to help others. God knows my heart is willing to go and do whatever He needs me to. It's my belief that He wants me to be a beacon (a light) to women who are hurting...who may have gone through (or going through) some of the things I have. I will leave it to Him to show me how.

I've been asked to speak at a church conference soon (Feb. 19) in Rexford, Kansas on 'Concepts of Women's Ministry.' I have been praying for God's Hand to lead me in speaking what He wants. And I've been given a scripture that I will cling to while in preparation for 'such a time as this' (Esther). I will leave it here & ask if you'll pray for me, too....

...FOR THE HOLY SPIRIT WILL TEACH YOU IN THAT VERY HOUR WHAT YOU OUGHT TO SAY.
(Luke 12:12)

keep the faith, sweet friend
~love, karen

Time

Oh...my...gracious! Where DID the time go?
I just blinked and it's been a month since my last post here!!! Forgive me, dear cyber-friends.
I guess I've been busy...baking/decorating cookies, shopping & shipping Christmas presents to family, setting up & taking down decorations, trips to Garden City to tend to a STUBBORN dental piece that JUST WON'T STAY GLUED DOWN!!!!
Anyway, I think it's about time to put up a new post...so here it comes. (right after I feed my daughter some lunch...grilled cheese & soup. Nothing quite like it on a cold, Kansas day!)
My devotional this morning was about becoming more Christ-like. Darn...just when I was wanting to throw in the towel. Life is hard! But God is good! And HE knows everything that's going on. I just have to remember that He's in complete control. There's nothing (let me say it with emphasis...NOTHING) that goes on that He doesn't already know. And if I can just keep my head about me...and keep my faith & trust STRONG in HIM...then NOTHING can harm me! I will be victorious IN HIM. He will go before me & fight for me. Period.
In the meantime it's my job to surrender all (everything I am...everything I have) to His Will. That can be pretty dang hard sometimes. Especially knowing satan's pretty smart & knows my weaknesses...my areas where I'm most vulnerable. I MUST ALWAYS REMEMBER WHO I BELONG TO, SWEET DAUGHTER of THE GOD of the UNIVERSE!!!!

My counseling this past week was SO helpful. I wrote down everything I could think of that I've been told that I am (some of the many LIES that I've bought into in my lifetime). These 'LIES' were then taped to a big, red heart pillow that was resting on my lap (representing my heart). My counselor helped me walk through that list: item-by-item...lie-by-lie. And replaced each one with TRUTH from THE WORD of GOD! I ripped up the list of lies (into tiny shreds I might add)...which felt pretty good...freeing. As a matter of fact - I highly recommend anyone reading this post to try it. You'll feel a heavy burden lifted...and a new freedom that's exhilirating!
My prescription from my counselor: Read through my list of TRUTHS every day for the next two weeks. ok...doc...here I go...

COME TO ME ALL WHO ARE WEARY AND HEAVY-LADEN, AND I WILL GIVE YOU REST. (Matt 11:28)

HE GIVES STRENGTH TO THE WEARY AND TO HIM WHO LACKS MIGHT HE INCREASES POWER. (Isaiah 40:29)

Thought this post needed two scripture references.

keep the faith, sweet friend
~love, karen