Quiet

Just a quiet evening...following a big Saturday morning...after a long, tiring week. Ever have one of those? I continue to work on my relationships. I've been told I'd live the life of a hermit if I could. Part of me thinks..."heck, yeah - that'd be nice & quiet for a spell" - while another part of me thinks..."NO, No - I like being around people - and that would make me blue." Hhmmmm...such a delimma.
So, back to my week. Hubby & I continue to communicate on a deeper level. This is new to me b/c I've always held close relationships at a distance - while living behind that mask. I think that's been my security blanket, which makes perfect sense. If I keep close relationships at bay...then it doesn't hurt quite so bad when my feelings are hurt or I'm disappointed in some way. The only problem with that? I can think of several...a) I never get to experience REAL joy along with the people I love the most, b) If I'm hiding behind that mask and not communicating when something hurts...how is the other person going to know I'm hurt...and we try to remedy/find a solution?, c) I'm not a living partner in a marriage relationship that God created & intends for me to exist in...shall I go on?
Bottom line is - I love my husband with all my heart...I'm figuring out there will be times that I disappoint, frustrate, anger (etc) him - and he will do the same to me. BUT we will work through those conflicts and grow closer to each other through it. I'm also learning that conflict isn't a bad thing...it's a necessary thing in a good marriage.

NO DISCIPLINE SEEMS PLEASANT AT THE TIME, BUT PAINFUL. LATER ON, HOWEVER, IT PRODUCES A HARVEST OF RIGHTEOUSNESS AND PEACE FOR THOSE TRAINED BY IT. (Hebrews 12:11)

keep the faith, sweet friend
~karen

Alone

Did you ever feel completely and totally alone? Did you ever want to just cry out to the sky until you were hoarse and had no voice left? Did you ever know something so sad & terrible that you didn't even know how to manage holding the thoughts in your head because you thought if you did you'd die? I've been there. It's an emptiness that is inexplainable.
Sometimes wives of men in the pastorate have to deal with feelings & emotions all alone in the emptiness. There's an emptiness in space. Sometimes the quiet peace of space (I'm talking way-out-there-Milky-Way kind of space) is calming to my mind. Out there - there is no pain, tears & terrible things.

Even though I sometimes feel that way ~ I am reminded that I am never alone. That is why Jesus left this earth through the most painful death there is...so I would not have to be alone. He departed so that there could be a Comforter come.

"Come and dwell within me, O Great Comforter. ~ Come and help me deal with the pain."

Pastor's wives, you are not alone. You too have the Comforter. Hold on to Him when times get tough...like I do. Wives, husbands, teens, little children, collegiates...this is the same Comforter that you can lean on, too.

I am reminded of a song that's playing over & over in my head lately...

I need you Jesus
to come to my rescue
where else can I go
there's no other name
for which I am saved
capture me with grace
I will follow you.

(Artist: Newsong)

"...DO NOT BE GRIEVED, FOR THE JOY OF THE LORD IS YOUR STRENGTH." (Nehemiah 8:10)

keep the faith, sweet friend.
~karen