Time

Oh...my...gracious! Where DID the time go?
I just blinked and it's been a month since my last post here!!! Forgive me, dear cyber-friends.
I guess I've been busy...baking/decorating cookies, shopping & shipping Christmas presents to family, setting up & taking down decorations, trips to Garden City to tend to a STUBBORN dental piece that JUST WON'T STAY GLUED DOWN!!!!
Anyway, I think it's about time to put up a new post...so here it comes. (right after I feed my daughter some lunch...grilled cheese & soup. Nothing quite like it on a cold, Kansas day!)
My devotional this morning was about becoming more Christ-like. Darn...just when I was wanting to throw in the towel. Life is hard! But God is good! And HE knows everything that's going on. I just have to remember that He's in complete control. There's nothing (let me say it with emphasis...NOTHING) that goes on that He doesn't already know. And if I can just keep my head about me...and keep my faith & trust STRONG in HIM...then NOTHING can harm me! I will be victorious IN HIM. He will go before me & fight for me. Period.
In the meantime it's my job to surrender all (everything I am...everything I have) to His Will. That can be pretty dang hard sometimes. Especially knowing satan's pretty smart & knows my weaknesses...my areas where I'm most vulnerable. I MUST ALWAYS REMEMBER WHO I BELONG TO, SWEET DAUGHTER of THE GOD of the UNIVERSE!!!!

My counseling this past week was SO helpful. I wrote down everything I could think of that I've been told that I am (some of the many LIES that I've bought into in my lifetime). These 'LIES' were then taped to a big, red heart pillow that was resting on my lap (representing my heart). My counselor helped me walk through that list: item-by-item...lie-by-lie. And replaced each one with TRUTH from THE WORD of GOD! I ripped up the list of lies (into tiny shreds I might add)...which felt pretty good...freeing. As a matter of fact - I highly recommend anyone reading this post to try it. You'll feel a heavy burden lifted...and a new freedom that's exhilirating!
My prescription from my counselor: Read through my list of TRUTHS every day for the next two weeks. ok...doc...here I go...

COME TO ME ALL WHO ARE WEARY AND HEAVY-LADEN, AND I WILL GIVE YOU REST. (Matt 11:28)

HE GIVES STRENGTH TO THE WEARY AND TO HIM WHO LACKS MIGHT HE INCREASES POWER. (Isaiah 40:29)

Thought this post needed two scripture references.

keep the faith, sweet friend
~love, karen

Sunday & Fantasy Football

Nothing is quite like a lazy, sunny Sunday afternoon. I love Sundays like this. Sunday school...church...lunch...and then....ahhh...the afternoon before me. Nothing obligatory in front of me. Just the afternoon with my family. This particular Sunday follows the hustle of the Thanksgiving week. It was a good Thanksgiving. The only thing that would have made it better - to see my two 'TX' children that live in Austin. It just didn't work out to see them...although our best laid plans seemed tailor-made. My son's work schedule just got in the way. Sometimes you have to make a choice...which is more important...and sometimes you don't get the choice...because it's already made for you. (I'm not quite sure which category my son's situation was)...nevertheless, we made our way back to Kansas yesterday - leaving TX without so much as a 'hello & hug' from my two. Oh well, we say, we'll make sure "next time."
My sweet husband would've moved the sun & moon to make it possible for me to see my kids. Ya know...my mama used to say "hindsight is 20/20" - if I'd only known now what I didn't know then - I would have driven myself to Austin on Friday to see them. It is what it is...so I tell my 18yr old daughter - we'll move forward and make plans for next time.
So through my tears on Friday night my hubby (the loving pastor that he is) reminds me that we (parents) raise our children to become independent and that's what my kids are in essence doing. They're working their way toward independence and although it can be sad for me - it's necessary for them.

Now how did I get so far down that rabbit trail from my topic for this post 'Sunday & Fantasy Football?'
Oh yeah, hubby (pastor/fantasy football maniac) has spent the last few minutes going from the TV 'tube' football game to the computer - to check his stats for his fantasy team. I guess it's fun - I wouldn't know...I don't do the fantasy football 'thing.' I just watch...and ponder. He says he won't be doing it either...next year. He says instead of enjoying the game...he's too worried about his players and points. (I can see that - which is probably another reason why I don't do it)

I think that might be how some people go through their lives. Instead of just sitting back & enjoying the game, they're too worried about their players & their points - and winning.
Hey, I've already won the game of life and will celebrate like there's no tomorrow at a really big feast with my King in heaven one day. (Yipee)

Join me?

THE KINGDOM OF HEAVEN MAY BE COMPARED TO A KING, WHO GAVE A WEDDING FEAST FOR HIS SON. (Matthew 22:2)

keep the faith, sweet friend
~love karen

Quiet

Just a quiet evening...following a big Saturday morning...after a long, tiring week. Ever have one of those? I continue to work on my relationships. I've been told I'd live the life of a hermit if I could. Part of me thinks..."heck, yeah - that'd be nice & quiet for a spell" - while another part of me thinks..."NO, No - I like being around people - and that would make me blue." Hhmmmm...such a delimma.
So, back to my week. Hubby & I continue to communicate on a deeper level. This is new to me b/c I've always held close relationships at a distance - while living behind that mask. I think that's been my security blanket, which makes perfect sense. If I keep close relationships at bay...then it doesn't hurt quite so bad when my feelings are hurt or I'm disappointed in some way. The only problem with that? I can think of several...a) I never get to experience REAL joy along with the people I love the most, b) If I'm hiding behind that mask and not communicating when something hurts...how is the other person going to know I'm hurt...and we try to remedy/find a solution?, c) I'm not a living partner in a marriage relationship that God created & intends for me to exist in...shall I go on?
Bottom line is - I love my husband with all my heart...I'm figuring out there will be times that I disappoint, frustrate, anger (etc) him - and he will do the same to me. BUT we will work through those conflicts and grow closer to each other through it. I'm also learning that conflict isn't a bad thing...it's a necessary thing in a good marriage.

NO DISCIPLINE SEEMS PLEASANT AT THE TIME, BUT PAINFUL. LATER ON, HOWEVER, IT PRODUCES A HARVEST OF RIGHTEOUSNESS AND PEACE FOR THOSE TRAINED BY IT. (Hebrews 12:11)

keep the faith, sweet friend
~karen

Freedom.

It is for freedom that Christ set us free; therefore keep standing firm and do not be subject again to a yoke of slavery.
I must say I've not really understood this scripture...ever. I am, however, beginning to see/taste/comprehend the true freedom in Christ.
I can be under the yoke of slavery in just about anything. A slave to work...a slave to food...a slave to shopping (yeah, baby!)...a slave to responsibility.
The truth is - as my dear, sweet & wise husband likes to say - 50 years from now we'll all be dead - and the things of this world won't matter a bit. (We need to be about the business of loving others, sacrificing for others, speaking the hope that is within us - freely & LOUDLY (if need be).
When one comes into an understanding of freedom in Christ - wow - how freeing that alone is. Knowing I will not be condemned to die in my sin - but instead to live out my existence in eternity in freedom & being in the presence of The King. (mindboggling, ain't it?)

Dishonesty

What a pain! Dishonesty. What a crutch! Dishonesty. What a shame! Dishonesty.
Have you ever had someone near to you be dishonest. C'mon...everyone has. If you're the bearer of the lie...it ways heavy on your conscience (or it should). If you're the recepient of the lie...it hurts...sometimes very DEEPLY. The only thing I can say, right now, is...hang on. God is still on His throne...and He loves YOU more than you can imagine...and He's got a plan.

I have had a piece of paper taped to the cabinet above my desk at work (right about eye-level) that holds scripture that has helped me through the depths of pain I've encountered. My sweet, sweet friend (a sister in Christ & prayer warrior) sent me these pieces of God's Word that have been honey to my soul. I've actually clung to one in particular for quite some time. I share it with you, dear friend, because I think it might help you through something...someday.

THE LORD IS NEAR TO THE BROKENHEARTED AND SAVES THOSE WHO ARE CRUSHED IN SPIRIT.
(Psalm 34:18)

Keep the faith, sweet friend
~karen

Alone

Did you ever feel completely and totally alone? Did you ever want to just cry out to the sky until you were hoarse and had no voice left? Did you ever know something so sad & terrible that you didn't even know how to manage holding the thoughts in your head because you thought if you did you'd die? I've been there. It's an emptiness that is inexplainable.
Sometimes wives of men in the pastorate have to deal with feelings & emotions all alone in the emptiness. There's an emptiness in space. Sometimes the quiet peace of space (I'm talking way-out-there-Milky-Way kind of space) is calming to my mind. Out there - there is no pain, tears & terrible things.

Even though I sometimes feel that way ~ I am reminded that I am never alone. That is why Jesus left this earth through the most painful death there is...so I would not have to be alone. He departed so that there could be a Comforter come.

"Come and dwell within me, O Great Comforter. ~ Come and help me deal with the pain."

Pastor's wives, you are not alone. You too have the Comforter. Hold on to Him when times get tough...like I do. Wives, husbands, teens, little children, collegiates...this is the same Comforter that you can lean on, too.

I am reminded of a song that's playing over & over in my head lately...

I need you Jesus
to come to my rescue
where else can I go
there's no other name
for which I am saved
capture me with grace
I will follow you.

(Artist: Newsong)

"...DO NOT BE GRIEVED, FOR THE JOY OF THE LORD IS YOUR STRENGTH." (Nehemiah 8:10)

keep the faith, sweet friend.
~karen

Toasted & Torn

Michael touched down in Kansas, heading home from Kenya, as I worked on staff at a bereavement camp. He arrived home around 3am - unpacked a little, unwound a little - then off to bed...only to rise about 6am and get ready to lead church (Sunday school & the sermon). Coming off of a 27-hour/3 flight trip plus 4-5 hour car ride just to get home...he was toasted. And I was...torn. I knew being a part of the camp was important. I'd worked on staff at the camp two years ago...couldn't work last year b/c my sweet Jordan (18yr old in TX) had her homecoming game as a senior on the varsity cheer squad - and 'mom' wasn't missing it for anything! So here I was another year later and back at camp for the weekend. Most of my heart was left at home - anticipating the arrival of my 'warrior' home from Africa. I decided to clean the house as best I could - borrowing the super-sucking vacuumn cleaner from the church, making beds & cleaning the kitchen. Heck, I even dusted half of the shelves in the living room (something I think I've not done in maybe a year)!
I'd left decorated acorn cookies labeled with a tiny message 'Welcome Home' on the counter for my honey - along with a brief message scribbled on yellow legal pad paper. I was guilt ridden about being at camp - yet torn because it was a ministry I was involved in. I hoped I could shake the guilt and just be a helper for those grieving the loss of a loved one. Never in a million years did I think I would leave the campsite taking more home than I came with. God spoke such sweetness to me over the weekend. Some of which came through the words of my husband with a phone call mid-way through the camp. He said he knew where my heart was - with him, now at home. That I was being Christ-like and needed to move my attention to the campers in helping them grieve...and we'd be together soon enough.
...boy was that a L-O-N-G ride home (which was only a 35 mile trip).

ALL THINGS COME TOGETHER FOR GOOD, FOR THOSE WHO LOVE GOD AND ARE CALLED ACCORDING TO HIS PURPOSE. (Romans 8:28)

keep the faith, sweet friend.
~karen