It is for freedom that Christ set us free; therefore keep standing firm and do not be subject again to a yoke of slavery.
I must say I've not really understood this scripture...ever. I am, however, beginning to see/taste/comprehend the true freedom in Christ.
I can be under the yoke of slavery in just about anything. A slave to work...a slave to food...a slave to shopping (yeah, baby!)...a slave to responsibility.
The truth is - as my dear, sweet & wise husband likes to say - 50 years from now we'll all be dead - and the things of this world won't matter a bit. (We need to be about the business of loving others, sacrificing for others, speaking the hope that is within us - freely & LOUDLY (if need be).
When one comes into an understanding of freedom in Christ - wow - how freeing that alone is. Knowing I will not be condemned to die in my sin - but instead to live out my existence in eternity in freedom & being in the presence of The King. (mindboggling, ain't it?)
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Dishonesty
What a pain! Dishonesty. What a crutch! Dishonesty. What a shame! Dishonesty.
Have you ever had someone near to you be dishonest. C'mon...everyone has. If you're the bearer of the lie...it ways heavy on your conscience (or it should). If you're the recepient of the lie...it hurts...sometimes very DEEPLY. The only thing I can say, right now, is...hang on. God is still on His throne...and He loves YOU more than you can imagine...and He's got a plan.
I have had a piece of paper taped to the cabinet above my desk at work (right about eye-level) that holds scripture that has helped me through the depths of pain I've encountered. My sweet, sweet friend (a sister in Christ & prayer warrior) sent me these pieces of God's Word that have been honey to my soul. I've actually clung to one in particular for quite some time. I share it with you, dear friend, because I think it might help you through something...someday.
THE LORD IS NEAR TO THE BROKENHEARTED AND SAVES THOSE WHO ARE CRUSHED IN SPIRIT.
(Psalm 34:18)
Keep the faith, sweet friend
~karen
Have you ever had someone near to you be dishonest. C'mon...everyone has. If you're the bearer of the lie...it ways heavy on your conscience (or it should). If you're the recepient of the lie...it hurts...sometimes very DEEPLY. The only thing I can say, right now, is...hang on. God is still on His throne...and He loves YOU more than you can imagine...and He's got a plan.
I have had a piece of paper taped to the cabinet above my desk at work (right about eye-level) that holds scripture that has helped me through the depths of pain I've encountered. My sweet, sweet friend (a sister in Christ & prayer warrior) sent me these pieces of God's Word that have been honey to my soul. I've actually clung to one in particular for quite some time. I share it with you, dear friend, because I think it might help you through something...someday.
THE LORD IS NEAR TO THE BROKENHEARTED AND SAVES THOSE WHO ARE CRUSHED IN SPIRIT.
(Psalm 34:18)
Keep the faith, sweet friend
~karen
Alone
Did you ever feel completely and totally alone? Did you ever want to just cry out to the sky until you were hoarse and had no voice left? Did you ever know something so sad & terrible that you didn't even know how to manage holding the thoughts in your head because you thought if you did you'd die? I've been there. It's an emptiness that is inexplainable.
Sometimes wives of men in the pastorate have to deal with feelings & emotions all alone in the emptiness. There's an emptiness in space. Sometimes the quiet peace of space (I'm talking way-out-there-Milky-Way kind of space) is calming to my mind. Out there - there is no pain, tears & terrible things.
Even though I sometimes feel that way ~ I am reminded that I am never alone. That is why Jesus left this earth through the most painful death there is...so I would not have to be alone. He departed so that there could be a Comforter come.
"Come and dwell within me, O Great Comforter. ~ Come and help me deal with the pain."
Pastor's wives, you are not alone. You too have the Comforter. Hold on to Him when times get tough...like I do. Wives, husbands, teens, little children, collegiates...this is the same Comforter that you can lean on, too.
I am reminded of a song that's playing over & over in my head lately...
I need you Jesus
to come to my rescue
where else can I go
there's no other name
for which I am saved
capture me with grace
I will follow you.
(Artist: Newsong)
"...DO NOT BE GRIEVED, FOR THE JOY OF THE LORD IS YOUR STRENGTH." (Nehemiah 8:10)
keep the faith, sweet friend.
~karen
Sometimes wives of men in the pastorate have to deal with feelings & emotions all alone in the emptiness. There's an emptiness in space. Sometimes the quiet peace of space (I'm talking way-out-there-Milky-Way kind of space) is calming to my mind. Out there - there is no pain, tears & terrible things.
Even though I sometimes feel that way ~ I am reminded that I am never alone. That is why Jesus left this earth through the most painful death there is...so I would not have to be alone. He departed so that there could be a Comforter come.
"Come and dwell within me, O Great Comforter. ~ Come and help me deal with the pain."
Pastor's wives, you are not alone. You too have the Comforter. Hold on to Him when times get tough...like I do. Wives, husbands, teens, little children, collegiates...this is the same Comforter that you can lean on, too.
I am reminded of a song that's playing over & over in my head lately...
I need you Jesus
to come to my rescue
where else can I go
there's no other name
for which I am saved
capture me with grace
I will follow you.
(Artist: Newsong)
"...DO NOT BE GRIEVED, FOR THE JOY OF THE LORD IS YOUR STRENGTH." (Nehemiah 8:10)
keep the faith, sweet friend.
~karen
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Toasted & Torn
Michael touched down in Kansas, heading home from Kenya, as I worked on staff at a bereavement camp. He arrived home around 3am - unpacked a little, unwound a little - then off to bed...only to rise about 6am and get ready to lead church (Sunday school & the sermon). Coming off of a 27-hour/3 flight trip plus 4-5 hour car ride just to get home...he was toasted. And I was...torn. I knew being a part of the camp was important. I'd worked on staff at the camp two years ago...couldn't work last year b/c my sweet Jordan (18yr old in TX) had her homecoming game as a senior on the varsity cheer squad - and 'mom' wasn't missing it for anything! So here I was another year later and back at camp for the weekend. Most of my heart was left at home - anticipating the arrival of my 'warrior' home from Africa. I decided to clean the house as best I could - borrowing the super-sucking vacuumn cleaner from the church, making beds & cleaning the kitchen. Heck, I even dusted half of the shelves in the living room (something I think I've not done in maybe a year)!
I'd left decorated acorn cookies labeled with a tiny message 'Welcome Home' on the counter for my honey - along with a brief message scribbled on yellow legal pad paper. I was guilt ridden about being at camp - yet torn because it was a ministry I was involved in. I hoped I could shake the guilt and just be a helper for those grieving the loss of a loved one. Never in a million years did I think I would leave the campsite taking more home than I came with. God spoke such sweetness to me over the weekend. Some of which came through the words of my husband with a phone call mid-way through the camp. He said he knew where my heart was - with him, now at home. That I was being Christ-like and needed to move my attention to the campers in helping them grieve...and we'd be together soon enough.
...boy was that a L-O-N-G ride home (which was only a 35 mile trip).
ALL THINGS COME TOGETHER FOR GOOD, FOR THOSE WHO LOVE GOD AND ARE CALLED ACCORDING TO HIS PURPOSE. (Romans 8:28)
keep the faith, sweet friend.
~karen
I'd left decorated acorn cookies labeled with a tiny message 'Welcome Home' on the counter for my honey - along with a brief message scribbled on yellow legal pad paper. I was guilt ridden about being at camp - yet torn because it was a ministry I was involved in. I hoped I could shake the guilt and just be a helper for those grieving the loss of a loved one. Never in a million years did I think I would leave the campsite taking more home than I came with. God spoke such sweetness to me over the weekend. Some of which came through the words of my husband with a phone call mid-way through the camp. He said he knew where my heart was - with him, now at home. That I was being Christ-like and needed to move my attention to the campers in helping them grieve...and we'd be together soon enough.
...boy was that a L-O-N-G ride home (which was only a 35 mile trip).
ALL THINGS COME TOGETHER FOR GOOD, FOR THOSE WHO LOVE GOD AND ARE CALLED ACCORDING TO HIS PURPOSE. (Romans 8:28)
keep the faith, sweet friend.
~karen
Saturday, October 9, 2010
Somewhere inbetween...
Ok...confession time again. I must openly admit that I get discouraged sometimes. And I know it's not of God when I start to feel inadequate! In fact, I know it's not God who is the author of doubt! (it is the author of darkness - otherwise known as satan)
Nevertheless, I found myself feeling pretty small tonight as I viewed a (very successful) blog of an old friend of mine from college. She has made quite a name for herself with the scrapbooking/rubber stamping world...and I am truly happy and in awe of her. She is breathing success as she carves a name for herself in that realm of creativity. God has/is richly blessing her & I'm so excited. The darkness that sets into my mind and tries to take root is feeling inadequate as a human. No, I'm not famous in any realm (on the grand scale of earthly views)...but I AM famous to Brady Grace Klumpp, Justin & Jordan Jung, Jennifer, Ian, Paige & Nico Klumpp, Charity, Natolie and a host of others that know/have known me as "mom, step-mom, & adopted mom" over the past several years. I may never know the impact I had on these lives. I pray it was that I've done a little bit of 'right' in all the wrong I did.
Somehow I've managed to take my eyes off of Jesus and put them on earthly things. I've been measuring myself in human terms instead of heavenly ones. I've felt very insignificant lately. I've looked for an audience of many - instead of remembering I should be singing praises to an audience of ONE. The focus has been on me and it should be on HIM.
Thank you Holy God, for reminding me how important I am in Your sight. Help me to see myself - not as I see me - but the way You do. Remind me that You knit me inside Nancy's womb - knowing everything I would ever be, do, seek, and know...and still you continue to love me just the way I am. Help me to love others the way You love me..and help me show others the unconditional love you freely give. Amen.
I always feel so much better when I take my heartaches to heaven. God always turns my sorrow into joy...no matter what my circumstance. Try it sometime...I challenge you to seek Him. You'll never be the same.
Have you ever felt small & inadequate? Let me hear from ya! I'll pray for you...I promise.
BEHOLD, I STAND AT THE DOOR AND KNOCK; IF ANYONE HEARS MY VOICE AND OPENS THE DOOR, I WILL COME IN TO HIM, AND WILL DINE WITH HIM, AND HE WITH ME. (Revelations 3:20)
keep the faith, sweet friend.
~karen
Nevertheless, I found myself feeling pretty small tonight as I viewed a (very successful) blog of an old friend of mine from college. She has made quite a name for herself with the scrapbooking/rubber stamping world...and I am truly happy and in awe of her. She is breathing success as she carves a name for herself in that realm of creativity. God has/is richly blessing her & I'm so excited. The darkness that sets into my mind and tries to take root is feeling inadequate as a human. No, I'm not famous in any realm (on the grand scale of earthly views)...but I AM famous to Brady Grace Klumpp, Justin & Jordan Jung, Jennifer, Ian, Paige & Nico Klumpp, Charity, Natolie and a host of others that know/have known me as "mom, step-mom, & adopted mom" over the past several years. I may never know the impact I had on these lives. I pray it was that I've done a little bit of 'right' in all the wrong I did.
Somehow I've managed to take my eyes off of Jesus and put them on earthly things. I've been measuring myself in human terms instead of heavenly ones. I've felt very insignificant lately. I've looked for an audience of many - instead of remembering I should be singing praises to an audience of ONE. The focus has been on me and it should be on HIM.
Thank you Holy God, for reminding me how important I am in Your sight. Help me to see myself - not as I see me - but the way You do. Remind me that You knit me inside Nancy's womb - knowing everything I would ever be, do, seek, and know...and still you continue to love me just the way I am. Help me to love others the way You love me..and help me show others the unconditional love you freely give. Amen.
I always feel so much better when I take my heartaches to heaven. God always turns my sorrow into joy...no matter what my circumstance. Try it sometime...I challenge you to seek Him. You'll never be the same.
Have you ever felt small & inadequate? Let me hear from ya! I'll pray for you...I promise.
BEHOLD, I STAND AT THE DOOR AND KNOCK; IF ANYONE HEARS MY VOICE AND OPENS THE DOOR, I WILL COME IN TO HIM, AND WILL DINE WITH HIM, AND HE WITH ME. (Revelations 3:20)
keep the faith, sweet friend.
~karen
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Single Parenting 101
Oh boy...here we go. Papa Bear has left the den to help a hurting country across the pond. (Kenya) He left yesterday morning...bound for Wichita, KS - to Chicago, IL - to Istanbul - to Nairobi. Our sweet Paige, celebrating her birthday yesterday...traveled with her Papa to Africa. We are praying for their safety, as well as for God's Hand to move their work in a mighty way.
My life for the next two weeks should be pretty interesting. Busy, absolutely! Tiring, you betcha! Fulfilling, count on it! Lonely, probably. Sleepless, probably. I missed Michael even before he was out of Kansas.
We'd had a 'spat' on Sunday (the day before his departure). Looking back (as always) it was over something so trivial (aka: stupid). This time my computer was the catalyst ~ with Michael trying to clean it out. As he looked thru the control panel he asked, "Ever use - - -? (enter photo software name here). My response, "Uhhh..I think...it rings a bell." I think that same response came from my lips on every question he asked after that.
Long story short - He was trying...and I was trying to kill his confidence in himself to accomplish the task. (I succeeded) And our afternoon - into evening - was a miserable, lonely, separate time.
I was listening to a radio talk show on our local Christian station earlier today while at work. The pastor was explaining about anger - and just how subtle (and destructive) it can be. Of course the scripture was mentioned (which I've heard many a time before today) - don't let the sun go down on your anger. My problem I've found (especially with my husband) is that I can find myself enjoying the misery...it almost feels like 'normal.' I guess somewhere in my twisted mind - I must be thinking that I'm punishing him. (But in reality - I'm punishing both of us...as well as God! Yep...the radio pastor went on to tell me that it grieves God for me to be angry with my husband. And HE can't work in me/thru me when I'm riddled with anger. Ouch.
So, I've got to find a way to speak up/out with my husband when I am hurt, angered, etc...That way I'm not giving satan an opportunity to help me justify my anger. (The bible also says the only acceptable anger is of the righteous kind.) We've got to find a way to work it out before our heads hit the pillow.
I can honestly tell when my heart is harboring hurt & anger. It feeds on that emotion of 'woe is me' or 'I'll show him, by golly!'
Well, looking at the bigger picture - it is my honor (and duty) to make the first move to reconcile with my lover, my husband. EASIER SAID THAN DONE! But with God's help I'm gonna keep tryin!
AND THE LORD'S BOND-SERVANT MUST NOT BE QUARRELSOME, BUT BE KIND TO ALL, ABLE TO TEACH, PATIENT WHEN WRONGED, WITH GENTLENESS CORRECTING THOSE WHO ARE IN OPPOSITION, IF PERHAPS GOD MAY GRANT THEM REPENTANCE LEADING TO THE KNOWLEDGE OF THE TRUTH... (2 Timothy 24-25)
keep the faith, sweet friend.
~karen
My life for the next two weeks should be pretty interesting. Busy, absolutely! Tiring, you betcha! Fulfilling, count on it! Lonely, probably. Sleepless, probably. I missed Michael even before he was out of Kansas.
We'd had a 'spat' on Sunday (the day before his departure). Looking back (as always) it was over something so trivial (aka: stupid). This time my computer was the catalyst ~ with Michael trying to clean it out. As he looked thru the control panel he asked, "Ever use - - -? (enter photo software name here). My response, "Uhhh..I think...it rings a bell." I think that same response came from my lips on every question he asked after that.
Long story short - He was trying...and I was trying to kill his confidence in himself to accomplish the task. (I succeeded) And our afternoon - into evening - was a miserable, lonely, separate time.
I was listening to a radio talk show on our local Christian station earlier today while at work. The pastor was explaining about anger - and just how subtle (and destructive) it can be. Of course the scripture was mentioned (which I've heard many a time before today) - don't let the sun go down on your anger. My problem I've found (especially with my husband) is that I can find myself enjoying the misery...it almost feels like 'normal.' I guess somewhere in my twisted mind - I must be thinking that I'm punishing him. (But in reality - I'm punishing both of us...as well as God! Yep...the radio pastor went on to tell me that it grieves God for me to be angry with my husband. And HE can't work in me/thru me when I'm riddled with anger. Ouch.
So, I've got to find a way to speak up/out with my husband when I am hurt, angered, etc...That way I'm not giving satan an opportunity to help me justify my anger. (The bible also says the only acceptable anger is of the righteous kind.) We've got to find a way to work it out before our heads hit the pillow.
I can honestly tell when my heart is harboring hurt & anger. It feeds on that emotion of 'woe is me' or 'I'll show him, by golly!'
Well, looking at the bigger picture - it is my honor (and duty) to make the first move to reconcile with my lover, my husband. EASIER SAID THAN DONE! But with God's help I'm gonna keep tryin!
AND THE LORD'S BOND-SERVANT MUST NOT BE QUARRELSOME, BUT BE KIND TO ALL, ABLE TO TEACH, PATIENT WHEN WRONGED, WITH GENTLENESS CORRECTING THOSE WHO ARE IN OPPOSITION, IF PERHAPS GOD MAY GRANT THEM REPENTANCE LEADING TO THE KNOWLEDGE OF THE TRUTH... (2 Timothy 24-25)
keep the faith, sweet friend.
~karen
Saturday, October 2, 2010
Pumpkin Patch
Today was a fun day with my sweet family. We've a wonderful couple who live at the edge of our town. Every year they open their pumpkin field to anyone/everyone to come, pick & keep as many pumpkins as you can carry. They provide hayrides, sweet apple cider (as you watch apples from their orchard turn into juice with their ol' cranker - juicer). All of this is provided FREE...it is their ministry. And all children (young & old) turn out for the festivities! It was a crisp fall day - as we drove to their farm. It was beautiful and we were all pumped for the fun. The only thing I found wrong was the feeling of my head beginning to pound - as I tried to understand why my head was starting to hurt. (Could it be something had blown in with the crazy Kansas winds this past week? Could it be that I'm tired - the crazy schedule that I've been trying to keep up with: work 36-40 hrs/week, karate & Zumba classes twice/week, walking with my angel/friends every morning, church on Wednesdays (3-8pm)...and now baking...a lot.? Or could it be some repressed anger that I'm not dealing with - which my husband asked - "what are you mad about?" on the way to the patch.)
I don't know. I think it's probably something blown in. I've been really blessed & have not been too sick since we've moved from TX, August 08. But maybe, just maybe it's something more..?? Something that I'm really not wanting to deal with? Hmmm.
My investigation continues..
When you've hidden behind a mask for SO long, like me, it becomes really easy to "put on a happy face" when your heart is breaking in two. Another way of life for me was being "numb." Numb to all emotion meant I didn't have to feel the pain and therefore it didn't matter what anyone said/did to me. I was just going through the motions of the day. I can remember a particular day when I was traveling with family. My children were young (ages 4-8, I think). There were 10 of us (six extended family included). I found my place near the back of the big Suburban we were riding in - where all the children were strategically placed away from the adults. I didn't mind sitting there among the kids b/c I was numb. I remember spending hours looking out the window - watching Texas disappear and Colorado come into focus. I remember seeing the birds gliding so gently through the sky. They represented freedom to me. A freedom I didn't know - only from a distance. My heart knew no pain because there was no feeling. Only years later sitting with a Christian counselor that God led me to...did I realize if I were going to be numb to all emotion, that would include joy. I wouldn't know joy - couldn't have joy in my life. As hard as it was to face that pain - God gave me strength & courage to meet it head on. It was during that time that I witnessed the love of Christ that was real. Real love from a real Christ for a hurting little girl.
I'm still working on that communication issue.
Why is it I can't always open my mouth and speak my mind? Always afraid of 'upsetting the applecart' or disappointing someone I love? So I live behind the mask. But that's living a lie..right?
Run from conflict...that's me. Sometimes it feels like I just walk on eggshells. Ever felt that way? Let me hear from ya.
THE LORD IS NEAR TO THE BROKENHEARTED, AND SAVES THOSE WHO ARE CRUSHED IN SPIRIT. (Psalm 34:18) and HE HEALS THE BROKENHEARTED, AND BINDS UP THEIR WOUNDS. (Psalm 147:3)
keep the faith, sweet friend.
~karen
I don't know. I think it's probably something blown in. I've been really blessed & have not been too sick since we've moved from TX, August 08. But maybe, just maybe it's something more..?? Something that I'm really not wanting to deal with? Hmmm.
My investigation continues..
When you've hidden behind a mask for SO long, like me, it becomes really easy to "put on a happy face" when your heart is breaking in two. Another way of life for me was being "numb." Numb to all emotion meant I didn't have to feel the pain and therefore it didn't matter what anyone said/did to me. I was just going through the motions of the day. I can remember a particular day when I was traveling with family. My children were young (ages 4-8, I think). There were 10 of us (six extended family included). I found my place near the back of the big Suburban we were riding in - where all the children were strategically placed away from the adults. I didn't mind sitting there among the kids b/c I was numb. I remember spending hours looking out the window - watching Texas disappear and Colorado come into focus. I remember seeing the birds gliding so gently through the sky. They represented freedom to me. A freedom I didn't know - only from a distance. My heart knew no pain because there was no feeling. Only years later sitting with a Christian counselor that God led me to...did I realize if I were going to be numb to all emotion, that would include joy. I wouldn't know joy - couldn't have joy in my life. As hard as it was to face that pain - God gave me strength & courage to meet it head on. It was during that time that I witnessed the love of Christ that was real. Real love from a real Christ for a hurting little girl.
I'm still working on that communication issue.
Why is it I can't always open my mouth and speak my mind? Always afraid of 'upsetting the applecart' or disappointing someone I love? So I live behind the mask. But that's living a lie..right?
Run from conflict...that's me. Sometimes it feels like I just walk on eggshells. Ever felt that way? Let me hear from ya.
THE LORD IS NEAR TO THE BROKENHEARTED, AND SAVES THOSE WHO ARE CRUSHED IN SPIRIT. (Psalm 34:18) and HE HEALS THE BROKENHEARTED, AND BINDS UP THEIR WOUNDS. (Psalm 147:3)
keep the faith, sweet friend.
~karen
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