Toasted & Torn

Michael touched down in Kansas, heading home from Kenya, as I worked on staff at a bereavement camp. He arrived home around 3am - unpacked a little, unwound a little - then off to bed...only to rise about 6am and get ready to lead church (Sunday school & the sermon). Coming off of a 27-hour/3 flight trip plus 4-5 hour car ride just to get home...he was toasted. And I was...torn. I knew being a part of the camp was important. I'd worked on staff at the camp two years ago...couldn't work last year b/c my sweet Jordan (18yr old in TX) had her homecoming game as a senior on the varsity cheer squad - and 'mom' wasn't missing it for anything! So here I was another year later and back at camp for the weekend. Most of my heart was left at home - anticipating the arrival of my 'warrior' home from Africa. I decided to clean the house as best I could - borrowing the super-sucking vacuumn cleaner from the church, making beds & cleaning the kitchen. Heck, I even dusted half of the shelves in the living room (something I think I've not done in maybe a year)!
I'd left decorated acorn cookies labeled with a tiny message 'Welcome Home' on the counter for my honey - along with a brief message scribbled on yellow legal pad paper. I was guilt ridden about being at camp - yet torn because it was a ministry I was involved in. I hoped I could shake the guilt and just be a helper for those grieving the loss of a loved one. Never in a million years did I think I would leave the campsite taking more home than I came with. God spoke such sweetness to me over the weekend. Some of which came through the words of my husband with a phone call mid-way through the camp. He said he knew where my heart was - with him, now at home. That I was being Christ-like and needed to move my attention to the campers in helping them grieve...and we'd be together soon enough.
...boy was that a L-O-N-G ride home (which was only a 35 mile trip).

ALL THINGS COME TOGETHER FOR GOOD, FOR THOSE WHO LOVE GOD AND ARE CALLED ACCORDING TO HIS PURPOSE. (Romans 8:28)

keep the faith, sweet friend.
~karen