Day 3

Ok...it's already afternoon and I'm just now 'getting-round-to-it'...today's post. I did manage to read my devotional this morning, once I got to work & opened my desk, cabinets, and put on my beautiful name badge.
Speaking of name badges - has anyone (beside me) ever wrestled with their identity? I think I wrestle daily with it. My pastor (aka: sweet husband) would agree with me. In fact, he's brought that topic to conversation on several occasions just recently. I was considering opening a bakery in our tiny, rural Kansas town. I found myself quite seriously thinking it through - complete with phoning our local attorney, economic developer, and state food regulation rep. Along with it - I prayed, and prayed...and prayed..and asked husband & dear friends to pray, too. I was consistently seeking God's Hand. I know I can do nothing without Him..and anything I attempt to try will fail miserably if it's not in His Plan.
Fast forward a week or so..and pastor/hubby opened a lengthy (and excellent) conversation by asking me, "Now tell me again, why do you want to open a bakery/sandwich shop/coffee shop? What is it you're trying to accomplish?" By God's nudging we were going to talk about Karen's identity ~ or better labeled ~ Karen's "identity crisis."
Husband had me think back to a time when I longed to be 1) a Pastor's Wife and 2) Mother of a third child.
So why, now that I have both, am I still searching for something to fill me up, pump me up, puff me up and make me something else?
'Ouch'...but he was right! God needs me to come to 'heart terms' that I am enough in Him. I don't need to DO anything, BE anything, ACCOMPLISH anything to be LOVED anymore than I already am. HE GAVE IT ALL..and CONTINUES TO LOVE FREELY WITHOUT EXPECTATIONS FROM ME. Lord, teach me to love myself without these quirks...to accept myself & be free from this identity crisis. My identity is in YOU.

I PRAISE YOU BECAUSE I AM FEARFULLY & WONDERFULLY MADE; YOUR WORKS ARE WONDERFUL, I KNOW THAT FULL WELL. (Psalm 139:14)

Keep the faith, dear friend.
~love, karen